gesmunds
“They all dream of someone who will come along and see in them a real woman—companion, lover, friend. But they all know, from the very first moment of each new encounter that this simply isn’t going to happen. I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love—otherwise my soul won’t survive.” - Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes


You're the sweetest man I've ever been with.
Though you seem to be just a little boy in the outside but you're more real and matured man inside.

About 2 years ago, you struck me with the friendship you offered me. You seem to find ways to make me happy and entertained during the times that I'm in the middle of emptiness and trying to find my own path again. For some time I saw myself once again being creative. I then noticed how good it feels to be smiling genuinely again.

I know for a fact that you're not free. Still captivated by your ex and a bunch of girls running after you. It's not hard to understand.

I know also that like me, you're longing for something real. I know you'll never gonna ask me. But somehow it entered my mind, and I entertained it and I liked it.

Its not hard to like you. You have this positive aura that gives me warmth, enough to melt my ice. Until one day I felt something true - fear. Fear of being too close. Fear of being careless. Fear of, I assume, falling again. But before I knew it, I was in it. And I hate it.

Like a hot potato, I decided to just drop whatever it is that I'm feeling. I dont wanna change anything between us. I wanna prove myself that I've learned a lot from my previous love story (lamuyan!). And importantly, I dont want to feel the same hurt I felt before.

So I'm sorry if I need to build this wall. Sorry if I'm coward (to the nth time). Sorry if I'm being quiet (I dont trust my stupid mouth anymore), if I'm being cold (nothing new), if I'm being a bitch and uninteresting. I cant help myself, I have to push you away. I know its the best way. It will be just for awhile, til the tingles disappear.

But just so you know,, you're the best part of my ongoing adventure. and I love it, even just the idea of it. :)


Until then., Friends?? Friends!


Currently Playing:
Go Your Own Way by The Cranberries, Sweetest Thing by U2, Half of my Heart by John Mayer, Do You Remember by Jay Sean

5 Responses
  1. Goryo Says:

    Wake me up when September ends...

    Parang greenday lang ha... hehe


  2. Lynn Says:

    Aww... it's tough to let go. :(


  3. chikletz Says:

    ayoko na.. ang lungkot naman nito.. pero i feel you sis.. dami ko na ngang "friends" eh.. bwiset. haha!



  4. gesmunds Says:

    @ Goryo, yeah,, parang ganun ang drama... emo effect hihihi!

    @ Lynn, totoo, its hard to let go but acknowledging it is half the battle..

    @ Chikletz, naku,, masyado na ba malungkot... hayyy,, maybe its because of the hormones... you know us, GIRLS! well,, Im more than okay now. :)

    @ Pablo, nye,, death kamo... wala na eh! hehe :))