December 19, I was having a not so good day, that’s when we knew that we have no bonus to receive. ‘Unfair’ is the right word to explain the day. ‘oh well’ I said. Maybe that’s part of my punishment for hating xmas. And so I kept quiet and I just wanted to spend the rest of the night drinking. To make the story short.. we’re on my way to Alabang carrying a lot of stuffs,, gifts from our officemates.. until Jason and Carlo told me that I need to go home. I just gave them a confused look. I said I want a drink right away.. but then I was shocked when they gave me their gifts. I was really surprised! 2 books of Twilight Saga: Eclipse and Breaking Dawn! That’s why I need to go home pala! Carlo is also my monito in our gift giving in the office and he gave me 2 books of Paulo Coelho. Astig! Both of them are wishing me to have a happy xmas. and for that,, they completed my wish lists- im thinking that I don’t deserve those but still - its amazing! Then I thought.. these two friends that I have gave me not only the precious books,, but they gave me the best gift I had for the season… it’s the realization that Christ is still with me., eventhough im hesitant to recognize His presence. He’s with me to make me happy, to help me look forward to positive things, to feel the presence of those who love me.. He gave me hope through people that in the same way are thankful for my presence.

Thank you for your gifts everyone! Thanks for getting me back on my feet!

Currently Playing: Lightyears by Eraserheads

I’m really hoping that the good things are yet to come. It even made me listen to those who are talking about good lucks in Feng Shui.. about the Year of the Ox and of how lucky are those who are born in the year of the Boar because they are friends with Ox. Whatever that means. I just want to stay positive! I need some drive… fire! I’m really working on it! With the help of my friends and family,, hopefully,, like the other years that passed, this year too shall pass..and I’m gonna make it!

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love

Got my friends, got the sunshine above

Why am I making this hard on myself

When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

Eto na naman ako.. I cant remember since when I hated xmas.. Its not that I hate Christ.., oh my,, I cant do that! – its just that for me, its sad. I’ve been vocal about this matter… and I understand when people around me don’t. They say I’m weird.. well, I tell them that they don’t need to be bothered by me not wanting the occasion… they just have to respect that. I don’t know, maybe because the occasion reminds me most of my mom.. of the happy times.. the celebrations, the comfort, the hope that the occasion brings… and its painful., knowing that things will never be the same again… i cant remember anymore how to be happy during xmas season.. funny. Yes, I haven’t really moved on.. I guess that’s the way it’s going to be.. and I don’t know when will this stop. I’m grateful though.. for my family, friends, and other blessings. Thanks for wishing me to have a merry xmas! I appreciate it! God bless!

Currently Playing: Sana Ngayong Pasko by Lea Salonga, The Man Who Cant Be Moved by The Script