I counted the days covered with sadness for some uncertain reasons. And its good to see myself moving on and rising. I find it quite ridiculous to reread my past blogs,
though it was my own way of unloading myself from my so-called burden, somehow
I can now smile at them. Its refreshing! Its nice to learn things as you
experienced them, its true. Its more wonderful than any books I’ve read before
or any stories I’ve heard from someone else. Its feels great to know you’re having time to overcome your challenge. Though hard but it’s a learning process. I get to know myself better.

What I’ve learned: Let it flow! Let it flow! Let it flow! Dati Im asking myself how to deal with changes by really trying.. well, I got a lot of answers but I think its more meaningful now.

* Its okay to cry or
even breakdown.,, ok lang yan! E anu ngayon?! Ok lang paminsan-minsan mawalan
ng gana sa pagkain! Even though you have nothing to lose anymore!

* Its alright to let
yourself be in “senti moods” to listen to heart-breaking songs or to torture
yourself of thinking of anything that reminds you of the pain. Lilipas rin yan!

* At times ren its ok
to be in denial — e hindi mo kayang ipakita eh! It doesn’t mean you’re
already “plastic” – its just that you cant handle the situations right yet. Its
okay for a moment to just deny it! As the matter of fact,, mas nagiging totoo
ka nga sa sarili mo na hindi mo kaya. Kesa naman you will pretend na carry mo –
pero hindi pala. Ang plastic dun e kung “nagpapakatotoo” ka para sa ibang tao,,
para anu, to please them? Poor thing.

* Its okay to have fun
– even if it costs you! Isipin mu nalang, “Once in a lifetime lang to!” haha!

* Its fine to maximize
the volume of your headset as you listen to your most fave rock songs – or even
your most senti “karelate” korni songs
– hmmm.. how will they know?? You’re in your headset anyway! (kumusta naman dyan toni??!)

* Its okay to be
late.. I mean,, consecutively.. (Ouch!). Especially when you have wonderful
reasons to to stay up late like having cool conversations, gimiks, meeting,,
etc. (will you excuse me, please?! please!)

* Its okay to lose
control once in a while even if your friends say “hindi bagay sau!” (hep hep!
Hindi niyo lang alam!) ok rin kasi minsan e may pagnanais ka na malimutan
panandalian ang mga problema.. Go! (just be sure you’re with your most trusted

* Its also okay to
feel you’re alone,, feeling na tinalikuran ka at biglang napag-iwanan.. kasi
kung hindi.. anu nang susunod na kabanata? Pano kana kung ikaw nalang? Panu mo
malalaman? Kaya mo ba?

*Most importantly, its
alright to be half empty half full for the moment. As the experience taught me,
its cool to be empty and its lovely to be hopeful! It is somehow a pivotal
point in time I believe every human being should feel, to know what’s really
essential as a living thing.

When I’m down, I allow myself to flow with the natural process. Its not easy because not everybody will understand.. it takes a few good friends around you who are willing to catch you when you fall. Its such a privilege to share my life with my friends, to contribute to their being as they contribute to mine. Its such a great way of sharing,.. of loving. Whoa! Im getting way too intellectual! J Im not saying na ok na ko.. mejo kumalma lang ang mga tidal waves pero any moment pwede kang lamunin ng tsunami! But with the Lord God who strengthens me and the lessons I’ve learned – I am more equipped – armed for the battle! I know little by little I can overcome it – wala namang majic na isang click lang “charan!” – ok na.. it’s always a process,, a journey! And now,, looking at my dreams, at my hopes.. im ready to rise again!

Sweet journey! ^_^