Our company got a dream project for next year, we considered it an early Christmas gift to us! In return, we have to give our best to meet all the deadlines before the year ends. Photo shoots here and there, meetings, creative brainstorming,,,everybody's just so busy. Somehow I feel so useless. Its tiring to just give moral support to your colleagues.

These are the times that I realize how much i hate my job.
God, how I wish I'm part of creative team.
I'm an accountant, Im okay with that but i cant tell if I'm happy even if I'm earning quite good.

Its just now that I get to ask myself why did I chose to be just safe. Why I wasn't brave enough to take a more creative course or something that was close to my heart?

Hayyy,, I have nobody to talk to right now, they're just too busy while enjoying the challenge this new project offers. I'm quite anxious coz I'm not with them right now. I felt unseen. Though I know for myself how significant my position holds. Ugh. I'm kinda getting bored, and I hate to consider it.

Hope Christmas Party na!

Currently Playing: The Time (Dirty Bit) by Black Eyed Peas, Fuck You by Lily Allen

Christmas time has a power to break my heart, so much that it can make me breakdown and cry. I can still clearly remember how my late Mom loved the season along with the music, colors and traditions attached to it. During Christmas time we would decorate our house. She often tell us how good it is to feel the Christmas spirit. Every night we would stare out the window, watch the colored lights and listen to its tune.
She was asking us to pray to God to give her more life - more Christmas. Then we would force ourselves to give a smile but we cry in our beds when she's asleep. That's all I remember in those Christmases for over 6 years of her battle against a disease.

After she died I have observed Christmas time with such a melancholy mood. In spite the painful reason, I don't make it an obligation to explain myself. That I am grateful for those who understand.

Until last year, when my sister and her family moved in our place, I decided to kick out that syndrome. The cheers and laughters of my nieces and nephews relived the essence of the Holiday Season. Its not easy to join the exuberance though. But gradually I was able to welcome Christmas again in my system, just except listening to Christmas songs.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.."

CHANGE IS GOOD, I believe that.
And I wanna give myself a chance I think I deserve.
Life is a series of joys and struggles. Its good once in awhile to stop, contemplate and just be grateful for all the blessings that we're able to received through out the year.
I wanna thank God for the gift of life, gift of friends, gift of wisdom and most especially - gift of love.

Let me share to you a fave song that motivates me in the fast approaching Holidays.

Advance Happy Holidays Everyone! :)

Currently Playing: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Jackson 5,
New Year's Anthem and All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey