My friend Homer passed the bar exam! Im happy for him genuinely.

We met during college where we’ve been part of our barkada we called “Kanlungan”. We connected through music basically from different genres.., from Linkin Park to Eraserheads, Rivermaya, Beatles, Third Eye Blind, Oasis, Vertical Horizon, Bamboo and many others. I remembered how we would analyze every lyrics and how did the writer came up to such good lyrics. (its good to recall!)

Back then we were concerned about not wanting mediocrities and how we feel we belong in the world we found on our own. We can talk about almost everything under the sun. Our life struggles, our passion. Newfound ideas and friends and their different impact in our lives were discussed. We both talked about the love of our lives and how we both lost and accepted it. I admit that he’d made a huge part of helping me find myself over long talks, tambays with yosi and drinks. Through those talks we answered some life questions that we were too embarrassed to talk about with others. Even if we lost touch for some time, we still managed to meet every now and then and talk about our current endeavors and battles, somehow after those talks we were able to find ourselves and get back in our track again.

Right now, I’m trying to ponder more over the things that we did and talked about, but it’s just too many and I cant think of any particular conversation. But I can’t help but smile remembering the years of relentless and unconscious clinging to the friendship and loyalty.

Well what can I say to the person who introduced me to blogging?? Isn’t it just right that I write about him as a present? Haha! Well after all the hardships,, I just feel an overflowing gratitude of knowing a guy like him who is likely to be so rational in deciding or doing things (but he tends to be impulsive and emotional at times, hehe!). Who is often cold but warm at the same time (yes you are!). The one who has a weird hand gestures whenever he’s trying to make a point – and he doesn’t stop till he made it (super lawyer-type!). The one who is a kind of narcissist but doesn’t admit it. The one who has his own version of sincerity. The one who is loyal, and doesn’t judge especially when I tell him to.

Though after all that happened in those crazy years, I’m glad to say that we created some good things on our own… well gradually. It was never easy. I was able to witness his persistence during CPA board exams, which gave him nothing but heartache. His lost friendships, his struggle to fit in. coz though you can see him as a tough cold man, inside is a delicate boy, filled with dreams.

It’s a new chapter of your life now! We hardly meet and talk now, and I know I’ll be expecting less and less of that in the coming days. So I guess just have to say it here. I’m so proud of you! Rest assured that I’d still be your fan. If you get bored again reading your thick books., just call me, tsikahan tayo!

“Madj I’m happy at last! J*naks*

“If we are stars adrift in nothingness, never think that your spark is worthless amidst the billion others.. because somewhere, somehow, someone is thankful for your light. You should know I am! ^_^” 11-13-08

May all your dreams come true!

Currently Playing: In My Life by Beatles, Deep Inside of Me by TEB, Good Riddance by Green Day, Drive by Incubus and Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

(collected thoughts from 10th & 11th entries)

"I wonder what she would say to me right now if she could see me and see how I've been living and I wonder if she knows most days I fall short of being the person she wanted me to be... You know my life is pretty good, it is. But I was just searching for something to make it great just something to make it matter, so, I don't know..." - Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

dati nung bata pa ko masaya na ko pag pinaghahati-hati mo saming magkakapatid ang isang balot ng m&m at kisses, bakit po ngayon hindi ako makuntento kahit andami dami ko nang kayang bilhin?

dati ang saya-saya nating buong mag-anak na nagsisimba twing linggo,, bakit po ngayon parang ang layo-layo ko na kay lord?

dati sabi nio sakin may tamang oras ang paglalaro. sa umaga hanggang 8-10 lang ako dapat nasa labas kasi masyado nang mainit, sa hapon naman 4-6 lang dapat kasi masama na maglaro sa gabi. sa ngayon po, kelan ko po ba masasabi kung dapat na kong tumigil o pwede pa kong magpatuloy?

lumaki ako na masayahin at alam nio po na dahil yun sa marami kong kaibigan. pero ngayon na marami nang nagbabago at marami nang umaalis, unti-unti kong naramdaman ang sakit dahil sa pagkawala nila.. bakit po parang nahihirapan na ulit akong magmahal?

bakit po natutunan ko na hindi umaasa sa iba pero nakakaramdam ako ng inggit sa iba na hindi kaya mabuhay nang walang ibang tao sa buhay nila?

bakit po hindi ako natutong maging sweet? para tuloy lagi kong ipinipilit ng sarili ko sa iba?

maliban po sa mga recipe na naituro nio sakin,, anu po bang recipe ng happiness? sana naishare nio sakin yan kasi dati parang ang saya-saya ng buhay nio.

iniisip ko tuloy kung kasama pa kita,, malamang numero unong tagasuporta ka sa mga pinagsususulat ko! siguro lagi tayong nalabas, nagwiwindow shop, nakain sa labas, at nanonood ng sine. simple lang kasi kaligayahan ng mo e,, sayo siguro talaga ako nagmana. siguro ikaw rin ang madalas kong kachikahan kapag may insomia attack ako., si ate kasi lagi nakong tinutulugan pagnagkkwento ako every weekend pag umuuwi ako.

sa awa ng diyos unti-unti na rin po akong nagiging okay sa kabila ng pagiging wasak ko ngayong taon. sayang, kung andito ka,, siguradong matutuwa ka sa progress sa buhay ko, masaya ka ngayon kasi ok na ang career ko. siguro magiging proud ka rin sakin. at alam kong ikaw din ang numero unong sasaway sa mga natutunan kong bisyo.

sayang mom, sana kasama ka namin.. alam mo, naging close na ulit pamilya natin.. alam kong gustong gusto mo un..
nga pala, makukulit na mga apo mo.. :)
si dad busy sa business niya pero masaya siyang nauwi sa bahay kasi madalas kumpleto kami.

sana kung nandito ka,, lagi na kitang maittreat! anung gusto mo, palabok ng jolibi o lomi ng chowking? bibili tayo! kahit anung gusto mo... naisip ko nga minsan anu kaya kung ngayon ka nagkasakit at nangailangan,, may pambili na tayo ng mga tamang gamot para sayo,, mas maaalagaan ka namin kasi kaya na namin ngayon.

Reading these past articles, I realized how lost I was, I cant help but cry.
But I can tell that I know better now. Questions have been answered by Krishna.
Thanks Mom! I love you, you know that, right?! :)
Until then!

"Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart is broken, but your life is changing..." Elizabeth Gilbert
currently playing:
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find themIve looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with