As I scribbled beautifully in the sand,, even if I don’t want to… I can’t do anything to stop it. The waves washed them out.

But I do love the waves.

After a careful thinking that maybe the waves don’t want me to write, still I don’t know what’s in its mind. And I remembered how happy I was whenever I look at such beauty I created in the sand, so I started scribbling again.

It’s beautiful.

A beauty of simplicity made by nature and my love… it definitely looks perfect to me.

And I am happy.

I never imagined that I can be as creative.. It made me feel so beautiful and powerful that I never thought I can be. It feels like I wanna do it forever.

My waves came back.

The happiness I felt somehow made me blind that I never noticed the return of the waves. My beautiful creation gradually fades… it seems like I’ve lost everything that I dreamed of.

I tried again.
I know there’s no point but I still continued. Until the sand is as soft as silk that my scribbles are now can’t be recognized. So I stopped.

Did you betray me?
Confused as I am, I asked the waves, “Why do you have to crash at this part right where my creativity blooms- which I love? Don’t you know how happy I am?” I was still babbling when the waves crashed again covering my feet with sand, he said, “this is where the wind is leading me, here is where I am supposed to crash”


Maybe the sand was happy too with the beauty I made with it. But it was washed away so easily by the waves. There’s no same beauty and power that I felt. Maybe I can’t be beautiful and powerful at all.

It has stolen me.

Maybe it’s the sanest thing or just the sweetest kind of dream… somewhere between the dark sky and the waves… I was lost.

“It’s not that I’ve forgotten. I haven’t. it’s a memory of an emotional episode, but it’s no longer emotional itself.” – Matthew Walker (from Ardhee’s stat, June 2009)
Tada! My silver year is about to be over! My 25 years of existence in this world had been such a roller coaster ride. Twists and turns, ups and downs… whew! Though I’m trying so hard to enjoy the beauty of the surrounding landscapes, I can’t help but feel the fear… it feels like my heart, intestines and other insides will come out of my mouth. Nevertheless,, I managed to hold on.
I cant believe it! Its been 25 years of my brilliant existence… a quarter of a century. To sum it all, I am nothing but grateful.

1.Mom!Wherever you are right now, I’m thankful for you. Thanks for bringing me up, for letting me experience a beautiful childhood. For every simple trials that you helped me how to deal with. I want you to know that I still feel your love and guidance every now and then. I love you!

2.Dad! Thanks for giving me a good life. Thank you for not giving me up especially in times of distress. Thanks for standing up for us as a mom and dad for us! I love you!

3.Ate! Thanks for your influence in music and fashion that I learned to appreciate as I grow up. Thanks for sharing your point of views, thanks for being my very best friend!

4.JR! Thanks also for the music we shared. Thanks for being you! I’m enabling to know more about myself as I get to know you more. Thanks for reminding me every now and then that I’m not alone as I go through this life. I love you.

5.Night Till Morning Club/LEO Club! Mga kababata ko sa Panorama Ville! Thanks for opening my eyes about the world! I guess that explains it all! Haha! Seriously, thanks for the acceptance. Thanks also for opening my mind about my social responsibilities that made me realize that I can do something to help. Wherever you are right now my friends, Mary Jhoy, Jonathan, Mark, Jay, Kuya Glenn, Emon, Dimple and all… I miss you all! I love you!

6.Singles for Christ! That’s for bringing me back to the heart of worship! Thanks for saving my lost soul. Thanks for the guidance that you gave me in my time of crisis as i grow up. Thanks not letting me go… unitl now. Thanks Sis. Ner, Sis. Joy, Sis. Anne, Bro. Kosep, Bro. JR, Con, Franz, Kuya Harold, Henry, Tio Greg and Tita Beth, and to all West 2 andWest 3 SFC Community. You’re the best! Bro. JR, thanks ha, until now you’re still there pulling me up. Sabi nga, kung gusto mo ng mga totoong kaibigan mag-SFC ka! Astig! I love you all!

7.Kanlungan Family! Thanks for the inspiration. Thanks for reminding me that I can achieve something or I can go anywhere because you guys are always there to support! Thanks for the burning spirit of friendship! I need not to say much,,, you already know what I mean! I love you all!

8.Sis. Anne! Thanks for the wisdom you’ve imparted on me, until now it’s still with me. Your words are engraved in my heart. You’ve done a good job in my transformation. Thank God, He let me know you. I’ll never forget you as long as I live. I love you.

9.Millimeter Clan! Thanks – I was able to gain confidence as I learned my value through you as I shared my knowledge with you. Thanks for all my co-employees who became my very good friends. To Toni, Carlo, May, Jason, Kuya Abe… to everyone… I love you all!

10.Cheska, Pia, Macky, and Gerard. MY pamangkins! I don’t have my own family yet but through their eyes and smiles made me believe that there’s a beautiful future waits for me as I wait for what God had planned for me. They let me realize a deeper sense of responsibility. To make myself a better me in order for them to be molded as one.

Thank God for this gift of Life. Thanks thanks! I won’t be able to feel this happiness if its not with Your Presence! Thanks for not giving me up. Thanks for saving me every now and then! Cheers!
June 5, Friday - the news came to me that our high school teacher - Ms. Fely Baterina, passed away. she died after being confined in the ICU for almost 2 years. saturday night I went to the wake with my HS friends. its just so funny that almost everyone in there were Ms. Fely’s former students.. funny coz they have the same statements in remembering her… “grabe, malupit siya manabunot sa patilya!” e lahat yata naranasan un e! I cant deny,, she’s one of the reasons why i had a not so good highschool memories. the fear, humiliation, strictness, favoritism (definitely not me! i learned then the meaning of the word “unfair”),, made me wish the high school is over. and it was so over, thank God!

Ms. Fely and I weren’t really close like in “Tuesdays with Morrie” scene. but i believe somehow i owe her a part of who i am as i grew up. it was through her that i learned to comprehend well the language of English. it was through her that i appreciated to read books (coz we need it for our book reports). it was through her that i conquered my fear in public speaking (takot ko nalang talaga!). and above all, i want to thank her for talking to my mom during the times when she was battling with cancer. she hugger her, cry with her, gave her advice, and maybe somehow told her “she understands”, and “keep the faith”. i maybe too young back then but i know my mom appreciated it so much. hope they remember one another when they meet in heaven and somehow give each other a smile.

I dont know Ms. Fely that much,, not much as i heard in the gossips there and there - i just know she’d been a teacher to many successful individuals in Cabuyao and the nearby towns. surprisingly, me and my HS friends doesnt feel the bitterness in the memories in her hands anymore. we are now smiling and laughing as we remember each youthful memories.
Thank you Ms. Fely Baterina, we’ll never forget you and forever be grateful for your part in our being. Happy journey!

Currently Playing: I Will Remember You by Sarah Mclachlan