gesmunds
Just last Sunday I went to my close friend’s despedida party. Selfish as I am – I feel so sad yet happy for her good fate. I guess I just cant stand why people have to leave…especially those who are close to me.. so close to me. They are gradually moving away – in pursuing good life. good life…

She’s my kababata… and since my Ate got married, she had been my refuge everytime I encounter rocky situations. A sister, indeed.

We had a drink, smoked cigars.. reminisce our distant past.. wondering,, will we still be able to do this again?? I gave her one of my favorite necklace and told her to wear it in able to remember me. It hurts really. I have to hide my tears simply because we’re not used to tolerate dramas in life… or maybe not this time.

Tonight I’m crying …crying because I can feel the loss. I feel so empty and helpless – just tonight. I hate it when someone leaves. Why does it have to happen? We’ve been apart for few months and we barely send text messages to each other. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but the thought of her going to other country is undeniably depressing. And I can’t hide my fear when I learned that another close friend of mine is going to follow her and also about to leave few months from now. Kelangan ba talaga mangyari to???

I hate it when my friends are moving away. Maybe I hate the fact that I’ll be left behind. Where am I supposed to go now? They say things happen for a purpose.. but I don’t want it. Truly there are things that we really don’t have control of.. and its making me weak. All I have right now are photographs. Everything is changing and I don’t feel the same – even if I convince myself that everything will be okay.

The people who have great impacts in my life… who knows me better… like Maryjhoy… as well as Kuya Jr (who’s also leaving on the 29th — sigh)… and as the rain falls outside my window… allow me… to cry myself to sleep.

Currently Playing: Minsan by Eraserheads

Photographs by Nickelback

Landslide by Smashing Pumpkins

gesmunds

Hi there! It’s a while.. I could say that I’m really having a great time nowadays… so busy… can’t even take the time to write. Well, its me…

I have a great month… ups and downs and a lot of adventures are coming my way. Everything is happening for a lesson to learn. Great summer.. great vacation…great time… great trials to balance each.

This time I would like to tell about a new friend who happens to be my board mate. As she told me all about her life.. somehow I felt the connecting thread between us. Surprisingly, she is someone who is exactly my opposite. But we have something in common – very common.. alcohol & cigarettes… bwahahaha! We had a 1-on-1 drinking session tonight. I accepted her invitation because I know I need the comfort tonight because I feel so lonesome. She told me a lot of things about herself and I did likewise. The great thing about our talk was when she told me about her own obsessive compulsiveness (now you know why we’re so opposites). How she get so upset whenever changes comes in her way. even in petty things – like for example.. the position of her pillows in her bed.. it should be in the right location – the way she wanted it – and she feels discomfort whenever she failed to position her pillows the way she wanted it. Those little things irritates her.. she worries too much. I said she’s being hard on herself and she admits that. She makes things complicated. And that’s something that she doesn’t like about herself. And she adopts the same attitude even in other important matters in her life. then she concluded that its because of the effects of the painful memories she had from her childhood (I will not elaborate on this part – very long story hehe!) I was amazed when she told me how she envy me. (Whattt??? Hmm.. yes she told me that! But just a bit). She told me that she wish she was like me… carefree.. who doesn’t worry even if my slippers are just scattered beside my bed.. my necklace is just in my bed instead of being on my bag or somewhere (not in my bed!).. my notebooks, books and other reading materials are just in the other side of my bed., instead of being in the bookshelf… my pillows and blanket aren’t neatly placed in my bed when I leave it in the morning… how I laugh eagerly for simple tv commercials that she don’t even notice not until she saw me laughing at it. She envy how light my life can be that I can smile always (well she doesn’t really know me well yet, haha!). I told her I have my fair share in problems in this world and things aren’t easy as it seems to me. But I have a lot of ways to lighten up myself,, which includes music, writing and long talks with friends.

I therefore conclude in this circumstance that we are all different in every aspects of our lives – that makes us very unique and special. I often say to her… “Kanya-kanya lang yan! Kanya-kanyang bigat at gaan…” The difference is – how do we face each situations in your life- how to deal.. How much faith do you have? To lay back in times of trials and to laugh hard in facing gratefulness in life. We really do have to learn as we live. To embrace life as it is… and not to run away from it. To learn how to give and to take.. to love more.. even if it gives you nothing but hurt..

Haayy.. it’s a great time really.. we didn’t bother even if we still have work the next day.. well, I believe its worth it.. even if its raining outside… at least she… gave me a reason to smile a bit… Thank God!

Currently Playing: Live and Learn by the Cardigans

Fade Away by Sugarfree

Chasing Cars by Snowpatrol

Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette

gesmunds

Hi there! It’s a while.. I could say that I’m really having a great time nowadays… so busy… can’t even take the time to write. Well, its me…

I have a great month… ups and downs and a lot of adventures are coming my way. Everything is happening for a lesson to learn. Great summer.. great vacation…great time… great trials to balance each.

This time I would like to tell about a new friend who happens to be my board mate. As she told me all about her life.. somehow I felt the connecting thread between us. Surprisingly, she is someone who is exactly my opposite. But we have something in common – very common.. alcohol & cigarettes… bwahahaha! We had a 1-on-1 drinking session tonight. I accepted her invitation because I know I need the comfort tonight because I feel so lonesome. She told me a lot of things about herself and I did likewise. The great thing about our talk was when she told me about her own obsessive compulsiveness (now you know why we’re so opposites). How she get so upset whenever changes comes in her way. even in petty things – like for example.. the position of her pillows in her bed.. it should be in the right location – the way she wanted it – and she feels discomfort whenever she failed to position her pillows the way she wanted it. Those little things irritates her.. she worries too much. I said she’s being hard on herself and she admits that. She makes things complicated. And that’s something that she doesn’t like about herself. And she adopts the same attitude even in other important matters in her life. then she concluded that its because of the effects of the painful memories she had from her childhood (I will not elaborate on this part – very long story hehe!) I was amazed when she told me how she envy me. (Whattt??? Hmm.. yes she told me that! But just a bit). She told me that she wish she was like me… carefree.. who doesn’t worry even if my slippers are just scattered beside my bed.. my necklace is just in my bed instead of being on my bag or somewhere (not in my bed!).. my notebooks, books and other reading materials are just in the other side of my bed., instead of being in the bookshelf… my pillows and blanket aren’t neatly placed in my bed when I leave it in the morning… how I laugh eagerly for simple tv commercials that she don’t even notice not until she saw me laughing at it. She envy how light my life can be that I can smile always (well she doesn’t really know me well yet, haha!). I told her I have my fair share in problems in this world and things aren’t easy as it seems to me. But I have a lot of ways to lighten up myself,, which includes music, writing and long talks with friends.

I therefore conclude in this circumstance that we are all different in every aspects of our lives – that makes us very unique and special. I often say to her… “Kanya-kanya lang yan! Kanya-kanyang bigat at gaan…” The difference is – how do we face each situations in your life- how to deal.. How much faith do you have? To lay back in times of trials and to laugh hard in facing gratefulness in life. We really do have to learn as we live. To embrace life as it is… and not to run away from it. To learn how to give and to take.. to love more.. even if it gives you nothing but hurt..

Haayy.. it’s a great time really.. we didn’t bother even if we still have work the next day.. well, I believe its worth it.. even if its raining outside… at least she… gave me a reason to smile a bit… Thank God!

Currently Playing: Live and Learn by the Cardigans

Fade Away by Sugarfree

Chasing Cars by Snowpatrol

Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette