kanina, inayos ko ang mga picture ko sa friendster.. maya-maya nabuklat ko ang friendster blog ko. namiss ko naman bigla.. binasa ko ulit,, at may part sa akin na hindi ako makapaniwala.. akalain ko bang malampasan ko lahat ng mga nangyare sakin non.. kung ampalaya ako ngayon,, 3x pa ako dati! ganunpaman, nakakatuwa ring basahin at balikan, mas naappreciate ko kasi kung anu ang meron ako ngayon... :)

may irepost lang ako,, sa lahat ng nabasa ko,, dito ako natawa.. baliw lang talaga! sinulat ko to nung malapit na kaming ma-evict sa bahay naming mahal.

how to deal..

Posted on December 11, 2006

Yes, I understand now that
whatever life brings, there is a purpose which only happen to be unrealized yet
but it will eventually follows. I always say to myself that anywhere the wind
blows, it doesn’t matter.. I can get through. I know I can. Guess im in the
so-called “process” of moving on,, punyeta! whatever that means!

It seems that my life is in chaos. The emptiness I feel is caused by several problems settling in my way that turned my direction in a different path. Trying to focus and yet wanting
to lose control. Thinking for a solution but hopelessness and sadness gets in the way. Faint. A month or two from now things will be all different and hard for me but still I haven’t got any plan or even options for myself. Still in the state of shock? Yeah, maybe a couple of weeks now.. ugh! I allow myself to. Wail.

How to deal with changes by really trying…

As much as possible I try to avoid being senti,, I had enough especially during my insomniac hours! Im losing my appetite and whats keeping me alive and kicking are coffee and cigarettes. Sometimes I want to shout out loud, to smash things, to throw everything out of the door and watch fragile things broke into pieces! Arghh! I just imagine myself doing those but never got the courage to do so! (takot ko nalang sa daddy ko!! Hehe!)

TV got into my nerves,, I cant leave the remote alone. Work and work in the office,, chat and chat and laugh and laugh, I really need it I guess, otherwise insanity may come along. Thanks for the friends who are still around and even more challenged to handle such senselessness (the band-aid-brigade as I call it).

My current theme song: hand in my pocket – “Im lost but im hopeful.. Im free but im focused.. im green but im wise.. im sad but im laughing.. yeah! So what it all comes down to, is there anything gonna be fine, fine, fine? Coz I have one hand in my pocket and the other one is giving a peace sign!”

Im thankful I was able to overcome those.. But things are more different now, more difficult, I can tell. but as the saying goes: "This too shall pass" - I believe that!

Currently Playing: Hand in my Pocket by Alanis Morissette
7 Responses
  1. i also believe that :P

    funny to say i have also old fs blog and when i happen to read again those old emo bitter posts, i just wanna laugh at myself. hahaha

    everything will pass, for sure. :)

  2. Anonymous Says:

    this too shall pass.. tama ka :)

    keep the positivity alive!

  3. gesmunds Says:

    @karen,, nakakatuwa naman 'you know my name' :)
    tama ka, sarap nalang tawanan ung mga dati :))

    @chikletz,, thanks! im on my way to it! :)

  4. Jag Says:

    Nice to know you are still there standing so TALL... : )

  5. fiel-kun Says:

    Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.

    Happy Blogging!

  6. stevevhan Says:

    masaya talgang maghalungkat sa net especially those old photos, i remeber ganyan din ako sa mga photos ko tapos suddenly you will say to yourself "oo nga no?....or something"

    Well at least may improvement sayong personality and i think we should be thankful about that 3x bitterness of you before!-----that made you more than just being a person but a strong one!:0 ahahaha(nosebleed!:)), pero in fairness naman sa post mo mukhang in denial ka na bitter ka, yet it shows!:)lols

    More power!:)