I was in the midst of chaos in Puerto Galera during the sacred days that every Christian is observing. I promised myself to have a soul searching there in the presence of the sand, sun, trees, and cool air, my sanctuary indeed. But unfortunately, the opposite happened. Summer night outs, extreme sports, exposure to bisexuals’ way of life, presence of lust, vices… I was moved.
As I went home, I was in my unpleasant mood. Though I definitely enjoyed everything that we did there, I wasn’t able to do what I’m supposed to do (I wasn’t even able to open the book that I brought). So as I sit in the sofa and turned the tv on, I searched for something noteworthy. And there in a cable channel, I heard this man preaching ( The topic wasn’t clear to me. He just gave me some points to reflect on:

* How’s my faith?? Is it empty?
Why do I tolerate things now that I don’t even consider before? How do I find comfort in accepting things like that?
* Is my spirit stagnant? What happened to its discovered purpose?

Where’s my focus???

I was disturbed by these questions. They darted on me bulls’ eye in my heart.

I observed my family. I realized that we weren’t that religious, although my Mom imposed on us to be dependent in the Lord, but still her time was short. Our family, as I can see now, is just simple. We celebrate the good times, we get mad at each other once in awhile but we’re able to talk it through, we watch tv together, we drink alcohol at least every week, we are free to do whatever we pleased, we all have our freedom given the consequences that corresponds to it, we love each other but hardly express it and most of all, respect dominates in us. We respect each others’ attitude, opinion and point of view in every life’s aspect. The thing is – where am I supposed to stand? Given the fact that my family isn’t so much concern about they’re spirituality (or maybe I don’t know).. Who then I must follow???

I clearly know the message from the preacher. And though its hard,, I know for sure the answers to those questions. Of course I do,, I was once nourished by teachings from Singles for Christ. But how can I do it?? Without the support system that I need, my family and SFC Community, and as I am surrounded now by a lot of manipulators around me,, teaching me the modern norms and standards, how can I get away from them?? How can I stand firm in my convictions? How can I be more focus on God’s purpose in my life?

It’s complex. Well, nobody said following Christ is going to be easy. One thing is for sure, as God gave me this wisdom,, I am RESPONSIBLE. And as the Lord promised that His grace is greater than our needs. I just hope that I can
go back in the heart of worship soon.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Currently Playing: One Way by Hillsong

"You are the Way, the Truth, and the Light. We live by Faith and not by Sight. For you, we live it all for You!"