You’re gonna make it, Madj!
I need to say it to myself. To whom but myself shall I get comfort.. as I need it more often. As a new friend told me, that the problem with being strong is – nobody bothers to ask if you’re hurt. They are confident that you can handle everything. Well, I guess I’ll take that as a compliment. But there are times that I don’t want that., but we cannot impose to anyone what we want them to do for us. I respect that. I know that’s part of what you called – unconditional love.
On the contrary, I love to do good things to others. To be a good friend to them,
sincerely. But then there are people who don’t like that. Lately, I encountered a situation where a friend didn’t want to be “touched”. Maybe I was being OA or maybe I really crossed the line.. but that moment – I was hurt. And for a while I allowed myself to be insensitive. After few weeks of soul searching, I realized that I shouldn’t continue such, for the simple reason that – its not me. Nevertheless, the experience taught me to respect others’ decision. No matter how long good years you’ve been together… sometimes you need to give space and time.. to let go.. hoping that the connecting thread in us still remains.. knowing that we can still count on each other.
However, I still must open myself to other friends who need me.. who’s willing to stick in the friendship as we sail through this life. although people always leave… and that hurts too. But life goes on, that’s why. Every now and then, we need to learn how to deal with it. I remembered a conversation I had with a friend years ago.. cant remember the exact words that I told him.. its like this.. “kahit umalis/mapagod na ang iba (sa pagkakaibigan namin).. mananatili pa rin ako.. para kapag maisip nila na lumingon/bumalik.. malalaman nila na may naghihintay sa kanila.. may babalikan sila.” And I intended to stick to that promise, though I’m not perfect but I’ll stick to it no matter what happens.
Currently Playing: Cinderella (OST PBB Season 1)
I’ll be There for You by Rembrandts
Paminsan-minsan lang tayong magkasama
Di pa pwedeng magtagal habol ang oras nagmamadali parang si cinderella?. hinahabol ang hating gabi?
Akala ko ba ay nabago na ng ihip ng hangin ang ating samahan
Dati kasi sabay tayong mag-inuman, mag-kantahan, mag-contest sa payabangan?
Chorus:
Paminsan minsan lang tayong mag-kasama di pa pwedeng magtagal habol
Ang oras nagmamadali parang si cinderella hinahabol ang hating gabi?.
Kamusta na?(kamusta na) kamusta na? kailan ba tayong huling nagkita?
Ikaw pa rin ba ang dating ikaw? ako? ako pa rin ito
(repeat chorus 2x)
Paminsan-minsan lang tayong magkasama ang kasiyahan ng barkada ay simulan na patugtugin ng bidyoke at tayo?y mag kantahan na? buksan na ang mga bote ng beer at tayo?y mag-inuman nahhh?
TUMATABA NAKO!!! Seriously – believe it or not! Its been such a long time since I saw myself so good like now! Hmmm.. siguro my early years in college. So imagine the time between! People will tell me “Madj, anong nangyari sayo?! Bakit nag payat mo?!!” (Ouch!) and other people who are being nice to me will say “Sumesexy ka ah?! Todo diet?!” (Naalala niyo pa ba un? Kung sino man kayo? Try to remember also my ngiting kambing! Wahaha!). Well I feel so good nowadays about my bod! I can really say that I’m an occasional smoker now. (Another believe it or not! haha!) masaya lang talaga ko! Pano,, need to buy new clothers now, ung kasya na sakin, ung hindi nako magmumukhang suman! Wahehehe! =)
Currently Playing: Video by India Arie
After the good message I got from my birthday… I believe by now I finally decided to be happy. As a friend always says, “mind over matter”. It’s right. I always believe that everything happens for a purpose. I think that all the down moments needed to happen in order for us to realize the essentials in this life. it’s like in swimming… when you’re in the water and you find your muscles tired of moving and you’re about to get drowned… you must let yourself get down… pull down the gravity… reach the bottom… then kick it hard for you to rise up again… to swim again. In my case.. I embraced them all… the loneliness, failure, disappointments, emptiness,,.. and now I can say.. I’m getting better! "Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part
of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can’t
remember a time in your life when it wasn’t. But then one day you feel
something else, something that feels wrong, only because it’s so
unfamiliar. And in that moment you realize you’re happy."
- Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill
Currently Playing: Breathe by Anna Nalick