I spent today outside a funfair, since I can’t afford to fritter my money away, I thought it best to watch other people. I stood for a long time by a roller coaster, and I noticed that most people get on it in search of excitement, but that once it starts, they are terrified and want the cars to stop.
What do they expect? Having chosen adventure, shouldn’t they be prepared to go the whole way? Or do they think that the intelligent thing to do would be to avoid the ups and downs and spend all their time on a carousel, going around and around and then stop?
At the moment, im far too lonely to think about love, but I have to believe that it will happen, that I will find a job and that I am here because I chose this fate. The roller coaster is my life, life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; its taking chances, falling over and getting up and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don’t manage it.
It isn’t easy being far from my family and from whom the language in which I can express all my feelings and emotions, but, from now on, whenever I feel depressed, I will remember that funfair. If I had fallen asleep and suddenly woken up in a roller coaster, what would I feel?
Well, I would feel trapped and sick, terrified of every bend, wanting to get off. However, if I believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. It becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, I must look at the surrounding landscape and whoop with excitement.

>> nice one, isn’t it? that’s my favorite part in the book!
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