Hi there!

Today is Carlo’s birthday and the day started in the office full of energy and spirit. Loud music, laughter everywhere,… everybody - happy.

I was troubled when I realized that I didn’t feel good after that good laugh.. I noticed that I automatically get back to my poignant mood. Why cant I be happy everytime? I know how good it feels to be happy.. to laugh hard… to smile.. but now, I just cant even if I want to.

So what I did… I keep myself busy all day. I give myself a favor that as much as possible I will avoid thinking (yes, that’s my new pastime, to think a lot about everything til I finally see myself staring to nowhere). I was the dj for the day and I played my rb’s and mellow songs in the afternoon. That was good coz I’m getting busy planning what song to play next… sounds to soothe the mood of everyone in the room.

Well, I actually don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I know that tomorrow will be a special day for me but it doesn’t seem to be. I don’t know but I feel a bit anxious.

Now in my headset, with loud hard sounds… waiting for the time to pass till its 6 o’clock. Then we’ll go party to celebrate the birthdays!! Astig! Once again…sige lang… agos lang… one thing is for sure.. it will all end.. I know I’ll be happy again… things will never be this hard for me… for the mean time… wear a smile… drink beer and party!

(here are some photos of our clubbing that night at Antakya)

Currently Playing: Gone by Urbandub

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