Showing posts with label encounters about "bis". Show all posts
Showing posts with label encounters about "bis". Show all posts
gesmunds
I was in the midst of chaos in Puerto Galera during the sacred days that every Christian is observing. I promised myself to have a soul searching there in the presence of the sand, sun, trees, and cool air, my sanctuary indeed. But unfortunately, the opposite happened. Summer night outs, extreme sports, exposure to bisexuals’ way of life, presence of lust, vices… I was moved.
As I went home, I was in my unpleasant mood. Though I definitely enjoyed everything that we did there, I wasn’t able to do what I’m supposed to do (I wasn’t even able to open the book that I brought). So as I sit in the sofa and turned the tv on, I searched for something noteworthy. And there in a cable channel, I heard this man preaching (www.davidjeremiah.org). The topic wasn’t clear to me. He just gave me some points to reflect on:


* How’s my faith?? Is it empty?
*
Why do I tolerate things now that I don’t even consider before? How do I find comfort in accepting things like that?
* Is my spirit stagnant? What happened to its discovered purpose?

*
Where’s my focus???


I was disturbed by these questions. They darted on me bulls’ eye in my heart.

I observed my family. I realized that we weren’t that religious, although my Mom imposed on us to be dependent in the Lord, but still her time was short. Our family, as I can see now, is just simple. We celebrate the good times, we get mad at each other once in awhile but we’re able to talk it through, we watch tv together, we drink alcohol at least every week, we are free to do whatever we pleased, we all have our freedom given the consequences that corresponds to it, we love each other but hardly express it and most of all, respect dominates in us. We respect each others’ attitude, opinion and point of view in every life’s aspect. The thing is – where am I supposed to stand? Given the fact that my family isn’t so much concern about they’re spirituality (or maybe I don’t know).. Who then I must follow???



I clearly know the message from the preacher. And though its hard,, I know for sure the answers to those questions. Of course I do,, I was once nourished by teachings from Singles for Christ. But how can I do it?? Without the support system that I need, my family and SFC Community, and as I am surrounded now by a lot of manipulators around me,, teaching me the modern norms and standards, how can I get away from them?? How can I stand firm in my convictions? How can I be more focus on God’s purpose in my life?

It’s complex. Well, nobody said following Christ is going to be easy. One thing is for sure, as God gave me this wisdom,, I am RESPONSIBLE. And as the Lord promised that His grace is greater than our needs. I just hope that I can
go back in the heart of worship soon.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Currently Playing: One Way by Hillsong

"You are the Way, the Truth, and the Light. We live by Faith and not by Sight. For you, we live it all for You!"
gesmunds

Reckon
I’ve been spending a lot of time or even days pondering what just had happened to me since mid August.
Time is exceptionally running in a flash.
So fast… I can’t even catch my breath.
So rapid… It seems like few minutes just past from last week.
I don’t know what to say anymore,, a lot of things had happened.
Every day is all different than others.
New experiences, new adventures, new acquaintances.. new found realizations…
Nothing seems repetitive, nothing to complain about, haha!
Everyday is a surprise,, how cool is that?!

My New Hideout
Before anything else, i wanna tell you about my new hideout. For those of you who doesn’t know,, my first hideout was in our old place In Panorama Ville, Sta. Rosa. It took me time before I find a place to be my new hideout. And now, I fin’lly found her. It’s a good simple place, near the school so somehow I feel a bright ambiance especially when I hear children’s voices every morning. Our room is lovely and warm,, perfect for our tired body after work. I’m with my former dorm mates who are now like my own sisters, accompanied by new friends/tambays that I can have cool conversations with and share loud hard laughs. Astig! I’m really striving to be more organized this time. An organized room mate is really a big factor. Well, I’m really trying, and I believe I’m learning… It’s never too late to change my bad rotten side, right?! hhmmm… wish me luck!

In The Absence Of Your Company

I’m facing a lot of revelations now. From my friends, the people around me…I’m quite worried. It’s just so unexpected, it caught me by surprise.. Its makes me wanna say, teka, isa-isa lang! But i can’t do anything about that, nothing that I can hamper the outcome. Its hard coz its coming from different people close to me, revealing things that challenges my convictions and perspectives. I know I should keep an open mind.

“I’m surrounded by liars, everywhere i turn I’m surrounded by Impostors,everywhere i turn…

I’m surrounded by Identity crisis, everywhere i turn

Am i the only one who noticed?
I cant be the only one concerned?
I don’t wanna be anything other that what I’ve been trying to be lately.
all i wanna do is think of me and i have peace of mind…

I don’t wanna be anything other than me.” - I Don’t Wanna Be by Gavin deGraw

I don’t know why I get easily affected by the circumstances divulged in front of my eyes. I don’t know for what reason but I get disappointed. And the disappointment doesn’t irritate me anymore but - it saddens me. Appallingly this is very new to me. That’s why right now, I’m running to the people with light heart and full of positive force - to make me smile as I start the day or at least before I sleep. And I’m thankful. As I reckon back how time had rapidly passed, I was terribly surprised to notice that now.. I have nobody to talk with about my concerns, my inner conflicts and even the most stupid Ideas I got in mind. It seems that a big part of me is lacking. It sinks to me just now - should I really have to get used to this? Where are you?

“At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world, some are running scared, some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just not facing the truth. some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one” - Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill