"Sometimes things hit you in the most unexpected ways"

Paggising pa lang sa umaga mabigat na pakiramdam ko. Alam ko kasing merong mangyayaring ayoko sa araw nato. Ideya pa lang nakakabad trip na, dagdagan pa isang text message mula sa taong yon na mababago ang schedule ng pagkikita nio. ansaya diba? sira ang plano ko para sa buong araw.. minsan na nga lang maglleave- napurnada pa! good morning to me!

Should be Schedule:
* 9 am - meet my former HR head, punta sa SSS para mag-ayos ng mga dokumentong kelangan ayusin
* 12 pm - lunch
* 1 pm - mall
* 3 pm - go to my dentist
* 4:30 pm - go to a doctor - check up
* 6pm - home sweet home!

Instead Schedule:
* 9 am - lunch
* 11 am - lumabas ng bahay - hindi alam kung san pupunta.

Sana pumasok nalang ako, at least may masayang kausap sa opisina. Pero kelangan kong samantalahin ang once-in-a-blue-moon-leave ko.
Dapat rin nanahimik na lang ako sa boarding house,, pero grabeng nakakabato ang presensya ng tv na walang cable at ng kamang nanghihikayat na matulog.

Sumakay ako ng jeep mula muntinlupa, hindi ko alam kung san pupunta.. matapos ang halos kalahating oras na byahe nakarating ako ng binan, pinababa na ko ng driver. sumakay ulit ako ng jeep. tulala mode. ewan ko, gusto ko lang bumyahe, mawala, mapagod, lumayo. ang dami daming laman ng utak ko kahit labas-pasok lang naman ang mga ito..

* ayokong makita ang dati kong hr head at mag-ayos ng mga inaamag na mga files sa sss. hindi ko na trabaho un! na-turn over ko na sa kanya, bakit ako pa rin hinahanap nio?? isa pa, ayoko nang balikan ang mga bagay na tapos na sa akin.
* Wala na kong pera - ang haba ng August, ayaw pa matapos! ggrrr...
* gusto kong manood ng senate investigation ng pnp - di ko magawa, waalng cable!
* namimiss ko na ung dalawang close friends ko! ung isa serious sa pag-aaral, ung isa naman serious na sa girlfriend. wala na kong kakulitan, wala na kong kasabay kumain ng dinner, wala na kong kahagikhikan, wala na kong kausap ng malaliman. i must admit, namimiss ko na sila., nakakamiss din pala sila! wahehehe...
* love life ko - major major wala nang nagiging progress! TSE!!! :)
* at marami pang iba.

* 1pm - napunta ako sa cabuyao,, sa isang monastery doon.. madalas ako dun dati nung taga roon pa ko. Poor Claire Monastery. pag gusto kong ipahinga ang isip ko, dun ako napunta,, 3 years na since narelocate ako, kaya ngayon lang ako nakabalik dun. nagulat ako sa sarili ko, hindi ko pinlano, dun nalang ako dinala ng jeep. sarap talagang kausap ni Lord,, parang nagiging okay ang lahat. thank you po. :)

* 2:45 pm nakarating na ko agad sa sss office. dumating ung dati kong mam 3:10, not bad. sa lahat ng nangyare,, ayos ang kinalabasan ng meeting. mahabang proseso pero ang maganda nasimulan na. yeah!

* 6 pm - check up- buti nahabol ko pa ung isang doctor.. kaso wala na ung dentist ko.

andaming nangyare sa buong maghapon,, napagod ako kakabyahe,, amoy usok na ko!
minsan magugulat kana lang sa pwedeng mangyare kahit na alam mo na ang dapat iexpect. masaya din pala makareceive ng mga little surprises mula kay lord. parang sinasabi niya na: "my dear, dont under estimate me"

just when i thought that today is gonna be an undesirable day,, but it turned out to be a meaningful one!
Hanggang sa susunod na trip ride!

Currently Playing: You Already Know by Train

I got mad and I laughed at the same time while I was watchin the SWAT Team do their struggled strategies in the Grand Stand. I am quite disappointed to what had transpired.. Mr. Mendoza still died. The whole world was watchin, might be laughing as well.

On the other side,, Ms. Venus made our today though. She somehow uplifted the spirit of the Filipinos all over the world.

Such a roller coaster ride feeling. I'm glad to read this wall post that says exactly how I feel:

"I'm still proud to be a Filipino... I will still enjoy adobo and will still be resilient in the midst of adversaries... With shame and fame, I can still wear a proud Filipino smile! :)"

- apir Melvin A.!

Currently Playing: You Can't Always Get What You Want by Glee Cast

Living in this world full of expectations is never easy.
Its a tragic battle within yourself in living the right way or the other.
Most of us were taught as we grew up to be good persons - I for one.
I was raised to be responsible in every aspects of life.

But I also believe that learning from experience is truly has a lot to offer. Circumstances are bringing you to such experience and it requires good decisions. But what if you're in a middle of doing the good and bad? And it is when you hear the world is telling you to take the risk of jumping into a cliff that you know that will bring you to danger.
Most people will say, "How would you know if you won't try it?"
And when you did, comforting voices fill in your ears saying, "Its okay, its normal, you did the right thing." yet deep inside of you its really not.
Suddenly you're drowning in confusions and disturbance.

Its hard.
Like for instance, when you realize that what you needed and wanted in this world is to love and be loved. But what you did was a terrible thing and you messed up,, pushing what you really wanted and needed far far away. And on that moment, you realize that what you thought right was in fact a big fat mistake.

"You'll never know the right way til you're lost" - Unknown

What a crap!




Currently Playing: I Caught Myself by Paramore and Loser by Beck

yes I will!
wait, anu kayang magawa??!

I would like to share to you about a friend.. My room mate.Though we have a lot of differences,, our perceptions and opinions still meet in some point of life.
Last night,, while we're having our one-on-one drinking session..
We talked about our journals and whats written on it. She only started writing on it for only about 2 weeks,, she told me she got it from me.
She showed me her scribblings of whatever is on her mind day by day. I can tell she's good. I told her to start blogging but she said its really not her thing.
I was surprise to read her own "guidelines" or let me say "Guidelines for Survival"?? haha! I have my own version but its in my other journal. Let me just share hers:

* Focus on what you have.
* Don't compare yourself to others.
* Its just money,, you cant bring it to your grave.
* You have your family and loved ones.
* You'll have your own turn.
* 2012 Vision - Live like you're dying! (i told her about it, hehe!)
* God is the one who scheduling things. Just be patient.
* Be positive.

She told me that everytime that she's confused about something, she's reading her guidelines over and over. I wanna read this whenever i will feel dissatisfied. What I like the most is the 5th, "you'll have your own turn!" - yeah, i believe that!

I admit,, im really learning from her even though i have a lot of complains about her (household chores, love problems, etc.).
Despite the differences,, I'm really glad i have her as my room mate and ka-nomo!
Last night was one of our best conversations - Winner!


Currently Playing: Because I Got High by Afroman

"You don't have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps." ~Author Unknown

I'm not an alcoholic.
Maybe im getting there.
Im trying to be happy - I am.
But I heard happiness is just a state of mind-
guess its right.

I wanna drink
I wanna talk
I wanna be heard
I wanna be understood
I wanna sleep
I wanna forget

This will only take for a while,,
till I'm able to figure out what i'm gonna do with my life..


Currently Playing: Need You Now by Lady Antebellum

I wanna go to Sagada - kahit ako lang mag-isa ! =) Sana kayanin ko!

gusto ko lang makakita ng seabed of clouds tulad nito... haayy...



Currently Playing:

Beauty In Walking Away by Marie Digby

light shines off in the distance
A pale flickering glow
How many times do I have to dream that I could be there
The time is here and she won't be waiting for me to find the easy way out
I've lost count of the days that were wasted

There's an answer in the sound of a train
There is wisdom past the bridge on the bay
There's a lifetime through the fog, in the rain
there's a beauty in walking away

I float on the streets that are empty
take the path that the wind only knows
Tonight is the last time that I'll ever be here

There's an answer in the sound of a train
there is wisdom past the bridge on the bay
There's a lifetime through the fog, in the rain
there's a beauty in walking away

It's never quite simple, it's never that safe
it never seems perfect until it's too late
It's never the right time to find a new way

There's an answer in the sound of a train
there is wisdom past the bridge on the bay
There's a lifetime through the fog, in the rain
there's a beauty in walking away

"Memories are wonderful things if you don't deal with the past." - Celine, Before SunsetI have enough of the past...


Yoko na balikan..

Bawat maling nagawa o nasabi...
Bawat bagay na dapat sinabi pero di nagawa...
Bawat maling pagkakataon...
Bawat masasayang oras at puno ng pag-asa...
Bawat pinangakong hindi naman natupad...
Bawat magagandang bagay na naglaho na
lang nang hindi namamalayan...

Lahat yan nakalipas na - at hindi na babalik pa.
dapat naman na talikuran na...

Kelangan ko nang magsimula ulit at gumawa ng mga bagong mali,
bagong masasayang oras, bagong pag-asa at bagong pangako...

Currently Playing:
Cannonball by Damien Rice